A healthy communication is not limited to couples, this includes friends and colleagues as well. Our focus today is marriage/relationships though. David & I will be sharing our methods of how we personally practice a stable and healthy communication with one another. We may have several flaws in our marriage, however, we seem to master the art of communication quite well. Hopefully our tips will improve your relationship, I know many couples struggle with meeting ends when it comes down to communicating or accepting a different point of view. No one should have to feel afraid to communicate with their significant other. It is part of our human nature to express ourselves, however the way we express is what actually makes a difference in our relationship.
Diana: I used to abuse the work of communicating when David & I first got together. I remember “communication” was my way or the high way. Well, I can assure you with this egoistic mentality the happiness & peace in our relationship came striking down. The first factor that you should eliminate is a negative or close minded attitude. You’ll never succeed with this energy in your relationship. At times communication can be daunting especially when you’re unaware of how your SO (significant other) will respond to it. Don’t let this stop you, if it is something you MUST get through, do it. I never hold back unless it’s something minor or of no significance. There’s some matters that can be resolved on your own. When there are larger issues it’s much easier to discuss when both of you are in the right and approachable mindset. If they did something that upset you, tell them in the most “calm” way possible. Yelling and screaming can be as unsuccessful as saying nothing at all. Makes sense? Of course it’s easier said than done, especially for us women, but it’s all mental & emotional discipline. It IS feasible if we practice at it. If you truly want to decrease the arguments (because they won’t go away forever) or have less tension when you disagree this can be possible. Work at your communication daily, tell each other what you love about one another. Don’t wait for something to be missing or go wrong. Communicating is what keeps the relationship alive. Without it, we’d be lost in marriage.
David: Communication is not blurting out any little thing that comes to mind. You have to be mindful of what you say to your significant other before you express it. By no means should you avoid your feelings or keep quiet. There has to be a balance between over communicating and not communicating at all. Most important to me is keeping open mind when Diana has opposing thoughts or we don’t see eye to eye. If you don’t agree with something minor, listen to it but don’t over do it. Sometimes it’s best to keep quiet and let it go. For more significant issues, both of you should always avoid getting upset. When one gets upset, the other does too and 9xs out of 10 it’ll turn into a huge ordeal. Believe me, I know it. If you or your partner DOES get upset try to calm down first and then figure out a solution together. No great answer or solution will ever come from anger or impulsiveness. Bottom line, to have a healthy communication you must improve your attitude. A good attitude and patience will always lead to a better outcome.
What are some points to keep in mind when communicating?
- Be mindful of your partners feelings, don’t intentionally attack them.
- Keep an open mind & try to analyze their perspective when discussing opposing views.
- Hear everything your partner has to say before you give feedback, interrupting can appear as careless or over ruling.
- Attempt to stay calm when upset, if it’s too difficult then communicate at a later time about the issue.
- Focus on the topic of conversation, be supportive and more positive, even when it’s not about YOU. Some things may be a huge deal to your partner, but minor to you (vice versa).
- NEITHER OF YOU ARE PERFECT, you make mistakes. You are human. Don’t expect your communication to improve instantly. It’ll take time and inner patience, after all aren’t you striving to be together forever?
So tell me, what are some ways you keep your communication healthy? How do you respond when THINGS GET REAL? Thanks for reading & hope you’ll absorb all the insight, xx.